You know, after spending exactly 5 hours in hospital all alone, getting more x-rays than I got during my entire life, giving blood, being tested, even after crying and waiting for something that took infinity, I realised one thing. At the end, nobody gives a damn about You. Nobody cares if you barely can breathe. If you are exhausted. If you are terrified. Nobody gives a damn. Hunger games? Yes. At the end after asking if it is the right time to go home, you get an answer: 'Wait, it is worse than we thought'. Then you just sit there and realize that this summer You will have to forget travels and adventures, but remember how to take care of Yourself, because at the end nobody will do that for You...

I miss someone honest and real. Someone with whom I could talk, oh, how I wish to talk with someone... Someone to look at me the way I look into the sky full of immense amount of sparkling stars. I miss this feeling. And... What is worse, as I am getting older and older, day by day, I do realise that the bigger killer in this world is loneliness... And You know what? It is bringing me down... I surround myself with people who desperately need help, however, after helping to others, I am left alone with a terrible need of others' help. This is the way it is. And now, when I am laying in my bed for the forth day with high fever and sick as I have never been before, I understand that at the end, what is the most important is family. They are here. Never leaving me. Taking care of me and my body that is getting weaken and weaken, burning little by little like those stars, you know. Those people whom I give most attention- they come and leave, they give me absolutely nothing, they care and always will care more about themselves and only their needs, but the family- this is what is the most important.