I think of my words. Weightless ones: as feathers and easy to carry anywhere. I think of my words: compact ones and those that fit everywhere. I am sure that nobody else do think of those words. It is even better like that. All these people- let them be like that. All these people that do these things- let them do that. Let them. It is better like that.

So you did so. Without even thinking a lot about it. You did so. I do not blame you, but I would never have done like this. Way too much negativeness to expect from such a creature. And so you did so... Without even thinking about it. And I sit right here, speechless, just breathless. And so you did so... How could you do that?

I have not written here for ages. Have not even thought of writing here. I'd rather re-read everything again and again. Have not even written here anything. But have been thinking of things. A lot. I'd rather just sit and think. Or talk. Talk a lot. But not write. Not answer to all those messages. Just re-read and think. Or dream. Dream big. About the things that I think. I could make a dream list in my head. Long one. With all those fancy words and phrases. But not write it.
Words will destroy its perfection. The perfection of my future dreams' list. I swear the God, I will make it huge, gigantic, just making people think: 'Gosh, how her head has so much space for her dreams!'. I swear the God. I will make the list and will complete it step by step.
Now, when I am alone with all this madness in my head, with all these crazy, dossly, freaking amazing dreams in my head. I will not tell anyone, not even the walls that surround me. No. No. No. Let it be huge secret that only I know. Or let it be little secrets that only I know. Just need to help them to grow in my head: put my head on the pillow and travel somewhere where only my heart knows.

One poet once said: "It's hard to breathe while you are still without any words". Sure she was right. It's hard not only to breathe. It's hard to stand up from all this darkness while you are still without any words. It's freaking hard. Nobody could understand this. But without this kind of darkness you would be unable to see any lightness. To see any light, which is necessary for you like an oxygen, to breathe. I guess, I am going out of the words. Better to stop here, while I still have them.