I think of the perfect time. I am perfectionist. I always was. I think of the sea, the waves and 100% chocolate. The perfect evening. The stars which are falling down. Funny, because it will never happen. I have never tasted 100% chocolate. I do not live near the sea. I always miss the feeling when the waves are beating your feets. People who live near the sea will never understand this. I want it so much. Right, now. Take all the pain and bring it to the sea.
I drink strong coffee, talk about my future, plan things, discuss serious stuff. I see the same eyes, just not shinny. I see the same eyes, but not the same girl. If friends would see me like that, they would ask me:"what had happened to that sweet, lovely, chubby girl?". I know what I would answer. I am sure. But it will never happen, because to people I am always sunny, happy, laughing, smiling, silly girl. I really want that someone would cut 10cm in my chest. Ah. They see in my heart black holes. Plenty of them. It has to be like that. I guess. It has to hurt. If it hurts that means you are still alive. You will be dead if you will not feel anything. Furthermore, people are made to hurt each other. With or without guns. The blood which you can see is nothing bad. When you can compare it with the true blood inside you... Well the second one is worse. It is always like that. All people are made to lie, hurt, cheat... We are all the same. It does not matter how we look like. We are all the same. We all think about the same things. Believe me, it does not even matter if you are girl or boy. We are all the same. The same unkind people.
